Iraq Clarifications by Dennis Miller

Dennis Miller on Iraq
By Dennis Miller

All the rhetoric on whether or not we should go to war against Iraq has got my insane little brain spinning like a roulette wheel. I enjoy reading opinions from both sides, but I have detected a hint of confusion from some of you.

As I was reading the paper recently, I was reminded of the best advice someone ever gave me. He told me about the KISS method (“Keep it Simple, Stupid”). So, with this as a theme, I’d like to apply this theory for those who don’t quite get it. My hope is that we can simplify things a bit and recognize a few important facts.

Here are 10 things to consider when voicing an opinion on this important
issue:

1) President Bush and Saddam Hussein…..Hussein is the bad guy.

2) If you have faith in the United Nations to do the right thing, keep this in mind. They have Libya heading the Committee on Human Rights and Iraq heading the Global Disarmament Committee. Do your own math here.

3) If you use Google Search and type in “French Military Victories,” your reply will be “Did you mean French Military Defeats?”

4) If your only anti-war slogan is “No war for oil,” sue your school district for allowing you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the education you deserve.

5) Saddam and Bin Laden will not seek United Nations approval before they try to kill us.

6) Despite what some seem to believe, Martin Sheen is NOT the President. He plays one on T.V.

7) Even if you are anti-war, you are still an “Infidel” and Bin Laden wants you dead, too.

8) If you believe in a “vast right-wing conspiracy,” but not in the danger that Hussein poses, quit hanging out with the Dell computer dude.

9) We are not trying to liberate them.

10) Whether you are for military action, or against it, our young men and women overseas are fighting for us to defend our right to speak out. We all need to support them without reservation.

I hope this helps.

3 comments

  1. Dennis,

    Sometimes, you have been informed and funny.

    Regarding this subject, in my opinion, you are neither.

    Do some reading other than “Billboard” and the poll figures.

    >1) President Bush and Saddam Hussein…..Hussein is the bad guy.

    In their own way, BOTH are bad guys.

    >2) If you have faith in the United Nations to do the right thing, keep this in mind. They have Libya heading the Committee on Human Rights and Iraq heading the Global Disarmament Committee. Do your own math here.

    This is an open appeal to the unlettered who, by the way, constitute a higher and higher percentage of your remaining fans.

    > 3) If you use Google Search and type in “French Military Victories,” your reply will be “Did you mean French Military Defeats?”

    Silly isn’t it? Again, read some serious history books and check back with those of us who already have in a few years.

    > 4) If your only anti-war slogan is “No war for oil,” sue your school district for allowing you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the education you deserve.

    It is not the only slogan we have but it is surely a true analysis of our administration’s motivation. You are, once again, playing to the mob.

    > 5) Saddam and Bin Laden will not seek United Nations approval before they try to kill us.

    Show us any evidence that Saddam, bad as he is, has EVER tried to “kill us,” aside from when we were invading his country. Thus far, 4/20/03, there is zero proven connection between Iraq and 9-11.

    > 6) Despite what some seem to believe, Martin Sheen is NOT the President. He plays one on T.V.

    Admittedly true. This does not make him wrong, or you a professor of History. You seem to be saying that Martin Sheen has no right to speak out, and that you do have a right to spout your uneducated jabber. Is that your point?

    > 7) Even if you are anti-war, you are still an “Infidel” and Bin Laden wants you dead, too.

    And, even more so now in view of our country?s recent actions.

    > 8) If you believe in a “vast right-wing conspiracy,” but not in the danger that Hussein poses, quit hanging out with the Dell computer dude.

    There is a right wing in this country, and you seem to be part of it.

    > 9) We are not trying to liberate them.

    This is the one unarguable thing you have said.

    > 10) Whether you are for military action, or against it, our young men and women overseas are fighting for us to defend our right to speak out. We all need to support them without reservation.

    This is straight from Richard Nixon. Many of us “support” them by not wanting to send them, and wanting them to come home. If you spend some time thinking about your last point, you may recognize that it has an internal conflict that would earn you an “F” in any high school logic class.

  2. It’s amazing how willing you are to discard Dennis Miller for agreeing with Republicans (and not even all Republicans) on one issue–and a national security issue at that. One good thing resulting from assertions that charges of Saddam’s associations with terrorists are completely unfounded will, hopefully, be a similar reaction to Michael Moore’s recent attempts to create a causal link between George Bush and 9-11.

    Of course I prefer the more sedate commentary of say a George Will or a Joseph Biden, but hey–you liked Miller’s style before, why criticize it now?

  3. It's amazing how willing you are to discard Dennis Miller for agreeing with Republicans (and not even all Republicans) on one issue–and a national security issue at that. One good thing resulting from assertions that charges of Saddam's associations with terrorists are completely unfounded will, hopefully, be a similar reaction to Michael Moore's recent attempts to create a causal link between George Bush and 9-11.

    Of course I prefer the more sedate commentary of say a George Will or a Joseph Biden, but hey–you liked Miller's style before, why criticize it now?

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